Friday, July 31, 2015

16 Bits Of Dating Slang To Use On The Reg So You Don't Get Ghosted

16 Bits Of Dating Slang To Use On The Reg So You Don't Get Ghosted

In the fast-paced world of dating, there's just no time to have a real connection without competing with the entire internet for your beloved's attention. 

But we as humans are nothing if not an adaptable species, so we've devised a secret code to ensure we can communicate as efficiently as possible before the allure of our phones becomes too great.

Or at least it was a secret until I, in my boundless grace and wisdom, decided to crack the code for you. I obviously didn't just go on Urban Dictionary and look up random definitions without seeing if anyone actually uses them. So now that you've been granted this forbidden knowledge, you must learn to use it effectively.

I can't stress enough how super important it is that you brush up on these 16 dating terms that everyone totally uses.

Otherwise, not only will you not get a text back, but the coolness police will show up and whisk you off to the shadow realm. I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

1. Breadcrumbing.

This means to send a bunch of flirty messages that don't commit to anything but keep your suitors justinterested enough to give you time to decide whether you like them or not. 

Don't worry if you've never heard of this one in your life because until now, it was only used in the secret meetings of the World Flirting Council. 

2. IRL.

This clever acronym for "in real life" marks the moment where online flirting turns into in-person date. 

You may have heard it used in other contexts, but these are all traps that people use to get the coolness police on you. Anyone who uses it for any reason besides dating should be treated with suspicion.

3. On a thing.

It means that you're just casually seeing someone, but you're not allowed to word it like that anymore. It doesn't matter that it's a much simpler way of getting your point across, you just can't.

I'm sorry, but abandoning it was our only option after the incident.

4. Layby.

This is someone who's OK to date for now but isn't worth not seeing other people for. If that sounds mean and dishonest, then congratulations, you understand why people don't use it much.

It's actually supposed to be yelled dramatically while your hair whooshes in the wind. Try screaming "am I just a layby to you?" into the mirror until it feels comfortable.

5. Q.

It's another term for cool. Like your new bae is Q or you're still Q after you break up. I know it seems like it just makes something that's already easy to say harder to understand, but that's dating for you.

6. R-bomb.

This is when the one you're chasing reads your message but just lets it lie without a reply. You might ask, "isn't that just called getting left on read?" and I guess that's true if you're OK with having the verbal version of the iPhone 4. 

Pfft, it's obviously all about the R-bomb now.

7. Monkeying.

This is when you enter one relationship as soon as you left the last one, so it's like swinging from vine to vine. If this is your first time hearing it, that's because it's only used in the actual jungle, which everybody knows is the hottest romantic getaway.

8. E-Fit.

This is when you keep all your social media posts and photos so carefully appealing that they might as well be your Tinder profile. And now that know, the hardest part is finding a situation where this term doesn't apply. 

It's so versatile and widely used that I don't know how you possibly could've missed it!

9. Thirst trap.

This term describes those little moments where you look really good in a pic but you wanna play it cool for Instagram so you make your post about how nice the beach is. 

I mean, people are gonna leave thirsty comments no matter what's going on in the picture, but that doesn't mean we can downplay the dangers of thirst traps. It only takes one metaphorical water bottle on a fishing pole to change everything.

10. Jelly.

Just another word for jealous. If this makes you say, "finally, a word people actually use," then you obviously haven't been paying attention because people use all of these all the time. 

I'm providing a valuable public service by telling you this.

11. Ghosting.

When everything seems to be going well until the one you want suddenly stops responding to your texts. "Oh hey, two right ones in a row," you might say. 

"Oh hey, it's actually 11 in a row and you need to keep up," I say in response. 

12. Zombieing.

If you've been ghosted but then the person suddenly decides to start talking to you again, they're zombieing. As you can see, the term is just as awkward to say as it is to experience. You don't have to thank me for that little shred of brilliance, these things just come to me.

13. Slow-fading.

Their haircut may be perfectly fast, but the way they're responding to your texts is getting slower and slower until they finally stop. So it's like a gradual ghosting, which to my eternal shame, is what I suggested calling it to the World Flirting Council.

14. Kray bae.

For those moments where you think you've found someone great but they turn out to be more unreasonable than you thought. "Hey, isn't that usually spelled with a C?" you might ask.

Well not today, kray bae.

15. Cuffing.

This might cause some confusion if handcuffs are what you're into, but it just refers to singles hooking up for the winter until the larger dating pool opens up again. I guess if we can't hibernate, this is the next best thing. 

16. YODO.

"You only dump once," apparently. Uh...I mean, yes, that's what everyone says. There's absolutely no other way to interpret that, especially since people totally haven't gotten tired of YOLO yet.

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Obese Couple Lives Off Taxpayer Money Because They Are 'Too Fat To Work'

Obese Couple Lives Off Taxpayer Money Because They Are 'Too Fat To Work'

With a combined weight of 54 stone — the equivalent of 756 lbs— Stephen Beer and Michelle Coombe claim that they are too overweight to find and keep even a part-time job. The Plymouth couple receives the equivalent of $24,760 per year in taxpayer dollars due to their claim. Stephen weighs 434 lbs, and Michelle is 322 lbs.

They were featured in a documentary for Channel Five called Benefits: Too Fat to Work.

Included in the documentary was footage of their $3,700 wedding, which included catering for 50 guests, Michelle's dress, and a tuxedo that needed to be custom-made to fit Stephen. All of this was paid for with the benefits they receive from taxpayer money.

Stephen has many health issues due to his weight, such as type 2 diabetes. He can only stand for short stretches, and ended up in the hospital during the wedding.

A blood clot in his lung resulted in nine days in the hospital, rather than a honeymoon. A personal cleaner comes twice a day to dress and wash him, as he can't do it himself. This service costs $9,900 per year. 

Stephen used to work, but ended his cleaning business after having a stroke six years ago. Michelle has never worked. 

They are enrolled in a weight management course, but the documentary included footage of them celebrating a few pounds lost by eating their favorite kebabs. 

"Is it right? Of course not. But at the end of the day I did work. I have worked, I haven’t sat on my a*** all the time."

"I have done some work and so really, why not?’" he said in an interview for the documentary.

SHARE your thoughts on this article with your friends and in the COMMENTS.

18 Reasons Why Australia Is A Place Of Nightmares

18 Reasons Why Australia Is A Place Of Nightmares

Giant spiders, stinging trees and eye-snatching magpies: the world has some seriously messed up stuff in it. 

From the look of the photos below, a lot of that messed up stuff hangs out in Australia. You need to check this out.

Here are 18 reasons why Australia is definitely not my first choice destination spot. 

1. There are 10,000 species of Australian spiders.

Here are just a few of them to give you a better idea of what really goes on down under:

2. Before humans, Australia was inhabited by megafauna.

You know, like horse-sized ducks and three-meter-tall kangaroos.

3. Australia's male platypuses have enough venom to kill a small dog.

4. Just a cloudy day...

No need to worry, right?

5. Just a little lightning...

Okay, maybe that's more than just a little...

6. Australia has neurotoxic stinging trees (Gympie-Gympies) that cause months of excruciating pain.

It's said the pain feels like hot acid and electrocution at the same time. 

7. Box jellyfish.

This is what they look like:

Their sting will end your life within minutes.

8. Australia has exploding trees.


9. This happens. 

I have no words, only nightmares.

10. In Australia, you may find yourself shopping with pythons.

Like this one:

11. In Australia, you need to be really careful about where you sit...

because snakes are everywhere.

12. Oh yeah, and there are a lot of beetles, too.

In case you weren't already completely freaked out.

13. The temperature is all kinds of extreme.

It ranges from 122 degrees Fahrenheit to well below zero. 

14. You have to be careful not to step on all the giant bugs.

Like this creepy-crawler:

15. Stonefish.

Look out!

16. Australia has hail that can do some serious damage.

Just look for yourself: 

17. There are magpies with serious attitude.

Watch out!

18. And of course, if you don't want to run into a mysterious jellyfish on your travels, you should probably avoid Australia altogether.

It's not so bad though, is it?

Secret Features Of Tape Measures We Wish We Knew Years Ago

Secret Features Of Tape Measures We Wish We Knew Years Ago

If you don't work with tools every day, you may not think about them very much at all—until you need one. A tape measure is in every home in America; who hasn't hung a picture or estimated the size of a couch?

You may not have noticed how many strange features are in these things. Every problem you've ever faced with a tape measure has a solution built in and you didn't even know it! This video has some truly surprising information you will be glad to know the next time you need one of these.

It Snowed In The Sahara For The First Time In 37 Years

It Snowed In The Sahara For The First Time In 37 Years

The Sahara Desert is one of the most hostile landscapes on Earth. It is the largest hot desert on the planet, spanning 3,600,000 square miles. When you think of its red dunes and extreme heat, it is hard to imagine that snow would ever be present, let alone in the same thought. But, on December 19, an amateur photographer named Karim Bouchetata caught something on film that hadn't happened in almost 40 years.

It snowed in the desert. It is lucky for us that Karim Bouchetata was there because the pictures he captured are absolutely breathtaking. 

The snow only lasted about a day, but it was beautiful nonetheless.

Take a look at Karim's photos and let us know what you think!

1. You can barely notice it at first.

2. But on closer inspection, you can see snow against the beautiful red sand.

3. It looks a little bit like a creamsicle, don't you think? 

4. There is no denying that this is a phenomenal sight, though.

What do you think? Let us know in the COMMENTS and don't forget to SHARE! 


Wednesday, July 29, 2015

14 People Who Did a Crappy Job... Literally

14 People Who Did a Crappy Job... Literally

It's hard to talk about the declining worth ethic in America without sounding like a disgruntled old man in an ever-changing world. Like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino. I'm okay with this, however, because I am that grumpy old man at the ripe old age of 26, and I am telling you, America, to pull up your pants and get those hands dirty. If the pictures in this article are any indication of what competition you're up against in the job market, you should land a job if you're a halfway sentient human being. 

...says he, the privileged white man working a comfy job in some 14 story building in a major Canadian city. 

Yes, it's good being king.

Anyway, wherever there are jobs, there are people perpetually disgruntled that they have the privilege to work. And because they're disgruntled, they'll do anything in their power to get around actually doing their work. Case in point: the people in this article. All have jobs... all seem to hate their jobs and will do any passive aggressive act in the book to demonstrate that.

Gotta love a millennial workplace.

1. Here we see what happens when an employee is asked to do "one last thing" 15 minutes after his or her shift ended.

2. He's the kid in the neighborhood that used to ride his bike across everyone's front yard.

3. Minimum wage won't pay for the fractured jaw this dude might get intervening in this. Best to keep walking.

4. Because God forbid union workers and engineers work together for once. 

5. Not sure if lazy or an idiot.

Either way, this is one bouquet of flowers neither will ever forget.

6. "Mince it yourself, a*******."

7. This is an invitation for tourists to view depraved porn and give you viruses you never knew existed.


8. I picture a man laughing to himself as he mutters, "This'll be the last time the boss tells me I did a crappy job."

9. Think you're having a bad day at work?

10. Literally a crap job.

11. "They're jeans... people know what's up." –Bangladeshi six-year-old who made these jeans.

12. This is the coolest looking lazily done job I've ever seen.

13. "Do we move the building or relocate the roundabout?"

"Neither. Let natural selection do its work."

14. "If you read my job description, it says that I am in charge of putting UP stop signs, not taking them down. It's very clear."