Tuesday, June 28, 2016

40 Jokes Only A Real Dad Could Make

Dads say the craziest things. I don't know whether they think that their age and time on this earth gives them a special right, or whether they think what they say is funny. Some of it is cute, and some of it is cringe-worthy. No matter what jokes they tell, we can't help but love them. Here are 15 jokes that only a dad could make!

Has your dad told any zingers? Comment and share the best or worst with us.

1. A sticky situation

2. This photo seemed so innocent... and then her dad had to come in with this totally savage comment.

Literally nothing is more embarrassing than when parents comment on your Facebook photos.

3. I'd keep the dollar

4. I mean, you may as well embrace these men.

They all dress the same and try equally hard to be cool. I guess they are pretty cute. And maybe even kinda cool.

5. Calm, cool, and collected

6. I wonder which compartment has the most juice

7. Slow and steady wins the race

8. You know well and good that's not what I was asking for

9. Did you have to go there?

10. What came first?

Who cares? Just enjoy both!

11. Cooler than the literal alternative

12. Mr. Literal

13. A  force-full exchange

14. We don't have 19 candles

This should make up 4 it

15. You've got nothing on dad

16. Ugh! Can you imagine these words hitting your ears in public?

I can feel the cringes of grocery trips past. Those poor children. May they one day find refuge somewhere.

17. Annnd I'm celibate now. 

18. Wait, what?

19. So much for being protective

My dad would play on my fear of bees

20. Some girls might think it's cool to dress a certain way. That is, until their dad decides to match their style.

This guy is trying to teach his daughters an important lesson while also embarrassing them. It's a win-win.

21. Haha, that's a good one Dad...

22. Alexander... Grate... Get it?! GET IT?!

23. This dad's ready to *level up*

24. He might have a point here.

Let's give this dad joke a solid 10/10. Points for creativity, practicality, and humor. Maybe — dare I say it? — dads can actually be funny?

25. They're just so supportive

26. Man, this dad may have taken it too far

Way to crush his dreams forever!

27. Speaking as a parent, this is true.

Don't worry, kid. You'll get your day. It's just not your time yet. But everybody gets the chance to displace their childhood embarrassment, trust me.

28. This dad knows how to make his daughter regret all of her life choices with this hilarious text convo. 

I doubt she'll be getting in trouble with "Daddio" again anytime soon.

29. As lame and/or embarrassing as the jokes may be, you gotta admire his wit. 

I think this man deserves a slow clap for this one. Clap. Clap. CLAP.

30. Oh deer

31. I like his style. He's almost too good.

His take on a classic pun was clean yet effective. You can really tell who's a new parent and who's a seasoned vet.

32. When the dad jokes get way too literal.

You can just tell he was so proud of himself for this one. Bringing props into a dad joke will earn you mad dad props.

33. If you know your dad is like this, stop giving him the opportunity.

He will take the chance to make you roll your eyes every single time. Be wise. Stay alert.

34. If it's stupid but it works...well, it can be both.

This dad-approved "birth control blanket" is bound to scare away anybody — including the daughter he bought it for. Sweet dreams, kiddo!

35. Usually, I love a good dad joke, but some of them are so painful that I can feel them churning my guts and breaking my heart.

Like this little gem right here.

36. And as we've said before, it's all about getting that reaction!

That exact face right there — that's how you know you've done your dadly duty right. Happy birthday, kiddo!

37. Stay strong, girls. He does it out of love.

...A deep and unconditional love for humiliating his daughters at every turn. I swear that it's done with malicious intent. I'm really turning dads into quite the antagonists now.

38. This dad knows how to embarrass his daughter while simultaneously getting the point across. 

Oh, they'll stay clear, but because they are weirded out by this whole situation and not because they are afraid of him.

39. Oohh, we've got a witty one here!

Sometimes, dad jokes are funny. And maybe that's what the moral of this story should be. Laugh not at thy father, for his jokes be lit.

40. I'm so defeated that I think I'll just accept my fate.

I'm starting to laugh at some of these, and all I can think about is Stockholm Syndrome. Legit problem.


Author: verified_user