Saturday, September 3, 2016

25 Pervs Who Got Curved

Take this from me: when you're an attractive person in this world, it's not all sunshine, puppies, and orgies, okay? There are some definite negative consequences that come with being beautiful, and today we're going to discuss one of the worst. All the normals that try to hit on you because you're just so damned attractive it turns their brains to mush! It's downright annoying, the amount of time we pretty people have to spend laboriously denying every single one of these up jumped simpletons until they get the point. 

To that end, we've developed the art of the "curve," a quick and easy way to showcase your disinterest. There are a number of ways to do this, but what follows is a list of the most tested and proven methods for a quick exit. Welcome, my fellow hotties, to How To Curve 101!

1. The easiest method: be engaged/married!

2. Get real racist with it!

3. This one hinges on the stupidity of the recipient!

4. Savage superhero references are really VENOMous, amirite?

5. Straight up, though, what's with the bubble-beard?

6. When the ex gets a little too confident!

7. Nah, you're just lonely and horny!

8. I said "somebody," not "you!"

9. A nice morning stroll sounds lovely!

10. Technical difficulties...

11. Women LOVE an educated man!

12. Having "bucketz" in your name is never a smart move, bruh!

13. "Lord Jesus, grant me strength!"

14. The honest, ugly, soul-crushing truth! Pour one out for my guy...

15. That is one JUICY curve, amirite?

16. Outdated AND salty...damn!

17. *Jaws theme*

18. I ain't leaving here without curving somebody...ANYBODY!

19. Didn't linger around for it to get awkward!

20. The unnecessary, overly dramatic girl curve!

21. Not since they started putting all the letters with it and what not!

22. The preemptive curve!

23. Is Avril Lavigne really in any position to even ASSIST in a curve? Really?

24. The classics still hold up today, it's true, for women...

25. And for men! All hail Han "Shot First" Solo!


Author: verified_user