Saturday, May 6, 2017

35 People Who Really Let Honesty Be Their Policy

Ignorance might be bliss but at some point, we all seek out the truth. 

If you happen to be Plato, then you might just spend your whole life searching for it (don't quote me on that — it's been a long time since Intro to Philosophy). Little did he know, the only place he needed to look was about 2,500 years into the future and on the internet to find those nuggets of truth! 

Just be careful to avoid the fake news...

1. Success is relative, after all.

Can you really call yourself successful if you didn't stomp on the dreams and aspirations of others for your own personal gain? I didn't think so. 

2. Finally, a politician we can trust. 

This is my mantra for life, by the way.

3. That's a very accurate description. 

First of all, feet and food should never be in the same picture. Just...never. Unless that's what you're into, and in that case, who am I to judge? 

4. You asked for it.

Learning about the birds and the bees used to be a sacred, awkward moment. The internet has ruined that rite of passage for the next generations. 

5. Let's be honest...

But think about all the time you'll have to hit up rich relatives. Maybe if that doesn't work out, you can start a GoFundMe, so that you can finally get a kitchen table and stop eating dinner on your futon like an animal. 

6. Your transparency is appreciated.

Actually, if all foods could come with a warning like this it would seriously help me out. No one likes realizing the side effects of spicy food afterward, especially if you're at work and the toilet paper is one-ply. That stuff is notgonna do the job.

7. They're not wrong. 

"Just post your pic and go" is going to be my new go-to comment for every selfie I see. We get it. It's your face. Time to move on. 

8. "Random" should be in quotation marks.

First participation trophies and now this? They give out awards for anything these days, eh? Well, everyone likes a winner I suppose. 

9. It's hard to beat Abe, at least she's giving credit where it's due. 

I'm sure her leadership skills come in a close second.

10. For real, though.

The truth is that your income is relative to your responsibilities. If you're not paying rent or bills, you can have a pretty decent time on $7.75 an hour. Just sayin'. 

11. All you lightweights understand. 

Sometimes I only go out just so I can get a late-night drunk snack on the way home. Like most of my decisions in life, having fun revolves around food. 

12. There's no need to pretend.

That'll stop the keeners in their tracks. Is there anything worse than trying to befriend the teacher? The answer is no, no there is not. 

13. And don't forget it! 

I'm pretty sure these were never meant for human consumption. Like those silver beads on top of cupcakes. Or the bride and groom figurine on a wedding cake. Decoration only. 

14. Yas, Gordon. YASSSS!

That's it. We can all go home now. It's over people — over! Take your disgusting pizza and get out of here. Order pepperoni like a decent human being. 

15. Usually the honesty on Tinder is a little more crass. 

In the end though, isn't this what we all want? Just someone to hold us and tell us how pretty we are? It is, as a poet would say, the definition of human longing. Oh, Tinder, sometimes you surprise me. 

16. What's the point in being subtle?

If it's not Sunny D, it's not worth my time. That stuff is the nectar of the gods. You can take your "fruit promise" and pour it down the drain. You heard me. 

17. People need to stop being so judgmental. 

And when will dog maternity leave be recognized? Huh? If I want to take a year off to raise my pups, then I should be allowed to, dammit! 

18. The truth isn't always pretty. 

You think it's cute now, but this is how it starts. Soon she'll be following you on Instagram, commenting on your photos, and texting you about brunch. It's a slippery slope from here. 

19. Hmm...I see where this is going. 

See, this is how a consensus is reached, people. It's about putting yourself in the other person's position. The world would be a better place if we did it more often. 

20. We always teach kids to tell the truth...

And one day they'll learn that the reason Mommy wears makeup is to conceal how tired she is from putting up with her kids' nonsense. The truth is a two-way street, kids. 

21. Alison is a frigging gem. You should be so lucky.

Anyone who has an interest in magnets is a winner in my books. Have you seen those things? They're basically magic science sticks. 

22. This is the kind of honesty we need more of!

Yeah, seriously. I could look like Kylie Jenner too if all I did was eat $18 salads and work on my glutes all day. But I'm broke, so there you go. 

23. I'm not sure what this person is trying to communicate but I'm certain it comes from the bottom of their heart.  

I think it's like one of those Rorschach ink blobs. Whatever comes to your mind first reveals your soul's deepest desires. 

24. It's the circle of life.

It's the wheel of fortune...

25. Messaged received loud and clear. 

Part of me really wants somebody to break in and sue, just so this can happen. Talk about justice being served. 

26. A box is the gift that keeps on giving. 

Plus, if you have cats or babies, it's a gift for them too. See? Everybody wins.

27. Point taken. 

Let's hope that everyone walked away learning a little something after this experience, but mostly the teacher.

28. We all have our weaknesses, let's not judge. 

But I bet the food really isas great as they say it is. I'd dine here.

29. Forget fairy tales, this wedding is keeping it real. 

Also, don't be that person who says they won't attend but ends up showing up for dinner anyway.

30. Finally, instructions worth reading. 

"Remember to eliminate all escape routes well in advance (a tip: once your pet is slippery wet he or she is suddenly smarter and faster than you are)".

31. You can't say you weren't warned. 

And if you're driving and reading this right now, pull over first and then keep reading.

32. Shocking. 

Even if you don't know who this is, you've got to admire his sense of humor, right?

33. I wish I had this kind of insight at such a young age. 

At least she's not quoting that "Graduation" song from Vitamin C. "As we go on, we remember. All the times we had together..." 

That song is the reason why I cut everyone from high school out of my life. 

34. You might call him Darren, but he has another name. 

If it looks like a sponge, sounds like a sponge, and is as lifeless as a sponge, what am I supposed to do? NOT call it a sponge? 

35. Only in Canada.

If this was your city, how long would it take before somebody came along and helped themselves?

Well, that's all, folks!

What do you think? Is honesty always the best policy, or do you think that maybe there's a bit of wiggle room for some white lies in those gray areas? Let us know in the comments!


Author: verified_user