Wednesday, October 4, 2017

15 People Who Should Stop Drinking From The Fountain Of Stupid

The article you're about to view is going to be the most compelling case against democracy you've ever heard. Let me briefly explain. We're told that the reason why democracy is great is because it is the best way to elect a leader who represents the view of most of the population. And while that's a wonderful theory, in practice, it's painfully hard to argue for.

As Winston Churchill famously said in the Hose of Commons on the November 11, 1947: "Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others."

You see, by giving everyone over the age of 18 a right to vote, you're giving idiots a right to vote. All they have to do is have an address and a voter card and they're eligible. It doesn't matter if they dropped out of high school, had seven kids, and wrestle gators on weekends, they can vote. It doesn't matter if they beat up fast food workers when their establishment runs out of chicken nuggets, they can vote. It doesn't matter if they use their mixtape as a resume for a minimum wage job at the chicken nugget-less establishment, they can vote.

And all 16 people in this article either can vote or will be able to when they come of age in the next few years. Remember that the next time you're about to get wound up over people's political opinions on the internet. They likely breathe through their mouth.

1. "Direct message me your perversions, Bro. Where has decency gone?"

2. The kings of Silicon Valley have fallen. Zoe is our queen now.

3. He might be trolling (unlikely), but his friends bit hard on that bait and it's making me cringe. 

4. You seem like the type of person who has strong opinions on geopolitical problems and expresses them through hashtags.

5. It's obvious now that your family will  unsurprisingly wait another generation to have their first offspring attend colledge.


6. Proud mommy: Let me make this status so incredibly cringe-worthy that the folks over at Diply have no choice but to use it in an article.
Elitist Diply writer: ...I've struck gold. 

7. Because the stork addresses the baby to the address of the woman. Therefore, we can forgo DNA tests.

8. Okay, she's an admitted idiot, but there's still the unanswered question: where is it that she's driving to that she thinks is Europe?!

9. Facebook should have a feature that saves posts for 24 hours and then asks you, "are you sure you want to post this BS?"

10. Good grief, we're in trouble, folks.

11. Frankly, I'm surprised your bloodline ever evolved from the bottom-feeder fish that mysteriously don't drop from the Antarctic into space.

12. Wouldn't want to be kissing them anytime soon.

13. Wake up. Check internet. Google tells me it's a dead person's birthday. Post wrong pic of dead person to Drop mic and keep being awesome.

14. Yes. It is. But colorful ponies in suggestive sexual positions are totally okay. Look up those instead.

15. This seems like a great place to end this train wreck. 

Main image via imgur / ghostofvalhalla

Collage image via eBaum's World


Author: verified_user