Tuesday, June 19, 2018

The Best Responses To Unwanted Texts Thanks To Hannibal Lecter

Ever accidentally made eye contact with someone at the bar and for the rest of the night, been the target of their unwanted attentions?

Ever, in a terrible lapse of judgment, given that person your number in the hopes that they'll be satisfied and leave you alone, but then discover that they are even more persistent and obnoxious over text message? 

Well, this girl did not make that mistake. When an annoying guy wouldn't leave her alone at the bar, she gave him her brother's number, and never regretted it for a second. As it happened, her brother wasn't about to let this guy down easy with a "sorry wrong number."  Instead, he trolled the guy for hours. How you ask? By responding to everything with Hannibal Lecter quotes. Turns out not everyone is deterred by the ramblings of a guy that enjoys human liver and Chianti.

And so it begins...

Starting it off with a good strong quote from Hannibal 

Sorry, no happy New Year's for you buddy.

Bar Guy is trying to steer the convo out of that dark place it started.

Also, second use of that appallingly chipper emoji within five minutes.

But will it work?

No, it won't. But Bar Guy seems to have picked up on the trend of creepy cynicism 

Who the hell is this guy, and why isn't he freaked out yet?!

Yes they do have a name for it: Desperate. 

But he still doesn't give up. 

In fact, he actually attempts another conversation days later. 

He must really feel a connection. He even gets a little weird himself in the next one...

Now Bar Guy is giving this brother a run for his money.

The "I chose to :)" text was probably creepier than any of the Hannibal quotes so far. But can he keep it up?

Maybe the biggest creep win

I think he's getting a little fed up now

Dude just wants to have a normal conversation.

Is that too much to ask?

Indeed. it is.

And finally the hoax is revealed with a perfect pic!

Did you enjoy that fruitless interaction, Bar Guy?

Jesus. He still doesn't get it!

Thank God it's over.

Byeee. Don't hesitate to make contact again!

Main image via imgur / lucy2shoes

Collage image via imgur / lucy2shoes


Author: verified_user